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i said, can i kiss you where you wee?
and she said... it's not allowed
i said... i'll give you sixpence
and she said... 's not enough
and i said, i'll give you a shilling then
and she said... 's not enough
ok i said, ten pounds, and two big lollies from the lolly shop, thrown in, for free
i don't want a lolly she said, maybe an ice cream
ok i said, it's a deal
and the ten pounds, she said, in cash, please
ok i said, and turned there then, and started my dash toward the nearest cashpoint, whereupon, or whenupon, whatever, i'm set upon, clobbered by some muggers, except they weren't muggers... we're the police they said, and you're under arrest
under arrest? for what? i said
you're under arrest for writing bollocks on the internet, one of them said, and then, it is all bollocks what you've been writing on the internet, isn't it, sir?
yes i said, it's all bollocks, i'm guilty as charged, lead me away
a prison cell, night time, thinking he's oscar wilde
my name is nevermind, said nevermind to the moon, t'wit, t'woo
then the morning after... he wakes and washes and takes a walk upon the beach, whereupon, whenupon, whatever again, he's set upon again, by a couple of seagulls at first (and then the cormorants came, and then a raven, and then an albatross, and then a great flutter of of hitchcock's birds) - i've had enough of this i said, i'm going home, there's a woman with big breasts waiting, cooking me breakfast, in the nude... i start to rush, i start to run, when lo and behold, just my luck, i'm set upon again, by the police again
this is ridiculous i said
it is ridiculous sir! just as you say! and that's why we're putting a stop to it
i've had enough... really i have
and so have we sir! and that's why you're coming with us
am i under arrest again?
we're just taking you in for some questioning sir
whish, whush, and woooo... fireworks, fireworks... whish, whush, and woooo... a warm summer night, a woman on your arm, pretty as a picture, pretty face pretty face, in firework light
& blah blah blah, then it was spring past again, aeons ago, so i decided to re-decorate again, doing that art prints, canvas prints, jitter bug thing - should maybe be sorted by michaelmas, whenever that is... blake - bonnard - chagall - constable - dali - kandinsky - klee - klimt - lowry - magritte - matisse - mondrian - monet - mucha - munch - picasso - van gogh - waterhouse =
alma-tadema - angelico - bocklin - bosch - botticelli - boucher - braque - brueghel - burne-jones - canaletto - caravaggio - chardin - cezanne - corot - courbet - crane - daumier - david - da vinci - degas - de hooch - delacroix - duchamp - durer - el greco - fragonard - friedrich - gainsborough - gauguin - gericault - giotto - goya - grimshaw - hals - hogarth - hokusai - holbein - ingres - kokoschka - langley - lorrain - macke - manet - marc - michelangelo - millais - millet - miro - modigliani - moreau - murillo - pissarro - poussin - raphael - redon - rembrandt - renoir - reynolds - rossetti - rousseau - rubens - schiele - seurat - sisley - tintoretto - titian - toulouse-lautrec - turner - uccello - van eyck - velasquez - vermeer - vlaminck - whistler - or, by text
or for a complete list, including contemporary, here
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& fine art prints for aficianados =
fine art prints on demand - and these the best sellers
& penwith =
cornwall pictures and canvas prints
& Journal of Distraction
by Michael Kelly
eg. My Godawful Life (the book's OUT NOW)
& Around The Galleries
& don't talk to me about hamburgers!
& an intro & once upon a time & a www search & some www links & some amazon stuff & once from china & a news archive & misc.
& an about for now & contact
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