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Back when tennissing around ideas with Michael Kelly for what eventually became this I'd suggested a SAQ (I'm not gonna tell you what that stands for bc I actually marked up the <abbr> element; check the source or get a new browser), only to, rather sheepishly (as I'd already read it) realise he's done more or the less the same thing here. He, however, seems to use real questions submitted by real people. I don't like real people, however, so I only answer questions submitted by people who listen to Phish.


Are girls really made of sugar and spice?
Is glucose really a sugar? Is salt really a spice? Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?
Are the Spice Girls?
No, but Bob Mould is.
Is Posh Spice really posh?
Yes. And Beckham can tackle. And Leeds can win.
What is the Cambria List?
The Cambria List is a list of the internet search engine keywords most likely to get page hits under the new Google algorithm. If, for example, you have an incomprehensible site dedicated to gyoza and want to increase its traffic, then simply insert the <meta keyword=""> element in the <head> element, making sure entries from the Cambria List are the keyword attribute's values. Especially effective for youth ministries, as "Jesus with the Virgin Mary" is top of the list, though secular pedophiles are free to use as well.
Why did Justin Timberlake rip off Janet Jackson's bra?
To prove she isn't Michael. That and New England sucks.
Is today opposite day?
No. Yes. No. Maybe.
Should I ask the Prime Minister?
Of England? Every day's Opposite Day for him.
How bout the President?
"America is the greatest count--yeah, John, I can say country. Jesus." No, probably not.


What is the the Circle of Willis?
An evil covent of witches who disrupt specific anastomosic processes in the brain so that average workaday Americans like you and, well, you will think Bruce Willis a good actor.
What's heliocentrism?
The belief that the Earth revolves around Mary Timony.
Can I have your phone number?
I think it costs like 75¢ or something, but fine by me. I'll call the phone company and cancel it today, you can probably call em and request it as yours as soon as tomorrow.
What should I give up for Lent?
Why are the Hong Kong yellow pages full of pictures of women in vinyl underwear holding leather flails?
Did I tell you to speak? Worm!

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