function getRandomQuote() { var quotes = Array(); //-------------------------------- quotes[0] = Array(); quotes[0]['quote'] = "and did you know? in china they make coffee con crack pipe?" quotes[0]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/chinarchive/0102/oct22.htm" quotes[0]['author']= "NJ" quotes[1] = Array(); quotes[1]['quote'] = "and did you know? if you're wearing knee socks and a plaid and/or pleated skirt you're always right no matter what?" quotes[1]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/misc/godwin.htm" quotes[1]['author']= "NJ" quotes[2] = Array(); quotes[2]['quote'] = "Fra angelico was a male prostitute" quotes[2]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/angelico/index.html" quotes[2]['author']= "JM" quotes[3] = Array(); quotes[3]['quote'] = "Pierre Bonnard, the anagram man, sur la seine" quotes[3]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/bonnard/index.html" quotes[3]['author']= "JM" quotes[4] = Array(); quotes[4]['quote'] = "Monet you know, had a pet hamster called haystacks..." quotes[4]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/monet/index.html" quotes[4]['author']= "JM" quotes[5] = Array(); quotes[5]['quote'] = "Leonardo da vinci was 47 and the year 1499 when the french..." quotes[5]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/leonardo/index.html" quotes[5]['author']= "JM" quotes[6] = Array(); quotes[6]['quote'] = "People who point guns at you and tell you to do things never tell you to do anything that even a very unintelligent person might mistake for smart." quotes[6]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/misc/godwin.htm" quotes[6]['author']= "NJ" quotes[7] = Array(); quotes[7]['quote'] = "and did you know? you cannot drive conventional automobiles, bc these use fossil fuels which, bought by the russians with muslim blood or no, contain dinosaur by-products?" quotes[7]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/chinarchive/0102/oct19.htm" quotes[7]['author']= "NJ" quotes[8] = Array(); quotes[8]['quote'] = "You would think if you put two next-to-naked girls up on platforms a guy my age would go goo goo over the go-go in full view" quotes[8]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/chinarchive/0102/dec5.htm" quotes[8]['author']= "NJ" quotes[9] = Array(); quotes[9]['quote'] = "Germans are a creepy lot" quotes[9]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/chinarchive/0506/july4.htm" quotes[9]['author']= "NJ" quotes[10] = Array(); quotes[10]['quote'] = "I happy am. joy is my name" quotes[10]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/blake/thumbs.htm" quotes[10]['author']= "William Blake" quotes[11] = Array(); quotes[11]['quote'] = "I want to astonish Paris with an apple." quotes[11]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/cezanne/thumbs.htm" quotes[11]['author']= "Paul Cezanne" quotes[12] = Array(); quotes[12]['quote'] = "All nature is modelled on the sphere, the cone and the cylinder." quotes[12]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/cezanne/thumbs.htm" quotes[12]['author']= "Paul Cezanne" quotes[13] = Array(); quotes[13]['quote'] = "I am too old, and i came too soon but i mark the way and others will follow." quotes[13]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/cezanne/thumbs.htm" quotes[13]['author']= "Paul Cezanne" quotes[14] = Array(); quotes[14]['quote'] = "I have never seen anything ugly in my life." quotes[14]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/constable/thumbs.htm" quotes[14]['author']= "John Constable" quotes[15] = Array(); quotes[15]['quote'] = "Woman is the major creation." quotes[15]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/klimt/thumbs.htm" quotes[15]['author']= "Gustav Klimt" quotes[16] = Array(); quotes[16]['quote'] = "I have often said that to be an artist is just the same thing as to be a whore, as far as dependence on the whims and fancies of individuals is concerned." quotes[16]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/rossetti/index.html" quotes[16]['author']= "Dante Gabriel Rossetti" quotes[17] = Array(); quotes[17]['quote'] = "My technique is initiated by the vermin that populate the studios of rome" quotes[17]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/caravaggio/thumbs.htm" quotes[17]['author']= "Caravaggio" quotes[18] = Array(); quotes[18]['quote'] = "I am the greatest painter the world has ever known, why should i be humble?." quotes[18]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/david/thumbs.htm" quotes[18]['author']= "Jacques-Louis David" quotes[19] = Array(); quotes[19]['quote'] = "I love those who can smile in trouble" quotes[19]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/leonardo/index.html" quotes[19]['author']= "Leonardo Da Vinci" quotes[20] = Array(); quotes[20]['quote'] = "I am so intrigued by what really exists. i have neither the desire nor the courage to seek after the ideal as it might result from abstract studies." quotes[20]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/van_gogh/thumbs.htm" quotes[20]['author']= "Vincent Van Gogh" quotes[21] = Array(); quotes[21]['quote'] = "I would rather paint the eyes of men than cathedrals." quotes[21]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/van_gogh/thumbs.htm" quotes[21]['author']= "Vincent Van Gogh" quotes[22] = Array(); quotes[22]['quote'] = "It is also good every now and then to go away and have a little relaxation." quotes[22]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/leonardo/index.html" quotes[22]['author']= "Leonardo da Vinci" quotes[23] = Array(); quotes[23]['quote'] = "Savagery rejuvenates me." quotes[23]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/gauguin/index.html" quotes[23]['author']= "Paul Gauguin" quotes[24] = Array(); quotes[24]['quote'] = "Hades ought to swallow all of venice." quotes[24]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/botticelli/index.html" quotes[24]['author']= "Botticelli" quotes[25] = Array(); quotes[25]['quote'] = "I feel simultaneously in touch with my feminine side and very, very manly. Honestly, I feel all full of testosterone. I could sire about twenty children right now, because I know I could feed them with my bread-making machine" quotes[25]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/journal-of-distraction/week3-sunday.htm" quotes[25]['author']= "MK" quotes[26] = Array(); quotes[26]['quote'] = "It lay in the gutter whipped by the wind and pelted by the rain, flapping pathetically like a dying bat, an emblem of lost dreams." quotes[26]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/journal-of-distraction/week4-tuesday.htm" quotes[26]['author']= "MK" quotes[27] = Array(); quotes[27]['quote'] = "Cassano's back! What, am I sitting on his bench?" quotes[27]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/news/ronaldo.htm" quotes[27]['author']= "NJ" quotes[28] = Array(); quotes[28]['quote'] = "The French have never appreciated food." quotes[28]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/news/ronaldo.htm" quotes[28]['author']= "NJ" quotes[29] = Array(); quotes[29]['quote'] = "Who else am I supposed to fuck? Daniella bought a dog. A big, mean dog. With spikes on his collar." quotes[29]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/news/ronaldo.htm" quotes[29]['author']= "NJ" quotes[30] = Array(); quotes[30]['quote'] = "Why does France wear blue if their flag is white?" quotes[30]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/news/domenech.htm" quotes[30]['author']= "NJ" quotes[31] = Array(); quotes[31]['quote'] = "a home without a chagall is a home where misery live" quotes[31]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/chagall/index.html" quotes[31]['author']= "JM" quotes[32] = Array(); quotes[32]['quote'] = "Dali is best viewed, is he not, while listening to frank zappa tunes being played by a jesuit priest on an old flamenco guitar?" quotes[32]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/dali/thumbs.htm" quotes[32]['author']= "JM" quotes[33] = Array(); quotes[33]['quote'] = "Magritte is best viewed, is he not, while eating a marmalade sandwich, while listening to a piano sonata, that's being played from far away?" quotes[33]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/magritte/thumbs.htm" quotes[33]['author']= "JM" quotes[34] = Array(); quotes[34]['quote'] = "ah malaga, malaga, pingu my son, the bear's become a minotaur and the matador's been slain - shall we dance?" quotes[34]['link'] = "http://www.artofeurope.com/picasso/thumbs.htm" quotes[34]['author']= "JM" //-------------------------------- var q = quotes.length; var which_quote = Math.round(Math.random()*(q-1)); document.write("" + quotes[which_quote]['quote'] + " - " + quotes[which_quote]['author'] + ""); }