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Once from China - by nate


drink a bunch of chinese beer.... then see if a girl will kiss you on the mouth.
eat a girl's ass out.... then see if she'll kiss you on the mouth.

im pretty sure ive come up with a decent correlation study to prove chinese beer tastes worse than ass, at least second hand.

so, on a completely unrelated note, i was in changchun and this russian girl wanted me to dance with her and i didnt really want to cuz it was late and i was tired and drunk and my knee hurt like motherfuck but i did. at a certain point she's grinding on me and i put my hands on her belly but she pulls them off so i'm like "okay," then back off a bit. then she smacks me in the face with the kung fu business knuckles of her...i don't remember which—hand, so i literally jump back, which isn't all that incongruous cuz we're dancing and it's dark, but i have to cuz it would be really fucking embarassing to get given a nose bleed simply bc a girl i'm dancing with has forgotten where my face is and tries to get her hand around the back a my neck without looking to see where the back a my neck is. anyway, she misses my neck, inadvertantly punches me with those business knuckles up and into my nose, i up and onto the balls a my feet jump back a pace an a half so she doesn't get contact when she falls into this limbo stance thing which is supposed to involve the back of her head dragging rubbing tugging down my chest and it doesn't happen cuz i've just gone on the balls a my feet an jumped back and i'm barely back in the quick enough to keep her falling bodies the floor.

and she gets me to dance with her again later on, at which point i say, in english "you do know you and i have absolutely no chemistry." i need to learn that in russian. or:

i have no money.

despite the fact i walk into the bar and buy a bar-priced bottle a black label now empty and am currently triple fisting lager scotch and cider—in short, despite all appearances and aletheia to the contrary—i have no money.

well, i have no money for you.

a now i' gotta go barside get a boddington's seea bout tht girl th's gotta baseball cap build a control group fr science 加油! science! an i'm a bloody sino-ornithologist i'm a 嘿宝贝 i'm a s


science! 加油 science! falling bodies equally embarassing nosebleeds hit the floor then