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Once from China - by nate


tired enough to have taken to writing my name in red, maybe that's an only in china thing, i'll burn some incense for the memory a myself and move on with what life i got left in black.

thinking, if i'm not the same person i was twenty years ago, bc i've long since then acquired new memories, experiences an cetera, a person being the sum total a his experiences or whatnot, then i'm likewise not the same person i was twenty days ago, or twenty seconds, the person typing the capital O is not the same who 'd just typed the capital N as "i" sit down to set down the word NOW in type ... they're (we're) incredibly similar people, but not having perfectly identical experiences (even if only a nanosecond a extra exposure to the outer world is the sole discrepency betwixt the two) are not perfectly identical sums of experience...; that is, one only exists as oneself perfectly at a singular point in time, future and past are inaccessible to ME, but available to persons similar to myself, brethren of a psychological sort. this is frustrating when you realize that you won't exist in twenty years, cuz you can't plan ahead, as there is no ahead for the mentioned you per se. but then when you realize this applies equally well (in kind if not degree) to any given series of successive seconds, then it's kinda liberating in a sex pistolic "no future" kinda way.

i'll still blame the horoscope tho. excite has now given me the same one twice, which either means they suck hard cock, or that my life really is goin nowhere.